The more we think that happiness is something we pursue on our own by spending money on it and trying harder, the less likely we are to work on our communities and social relationships, and so then we don't have those relationships when we need them to make us happy - so we need more money to buy another self help book or yoga class to make ourselves happier.

British writer Ruth Whippman examines the failures of America's obsessive, capitalized, hyper-individualistic pursuit of happiness, and explains why true happiness is found not through Instagram or seminars or books, but in IRL social networks of families, neighbors and communities.

Ruth is author of America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness Is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks from St. Martin's Press.